


3:00 AM.

by gingermina



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, how do u tag things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 06:57:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14130582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingermina/pseuds/gingermina
Summary: Mina may love Sana, but Sana can't love Mina.





	1. 3:00 AM (She Knows)

**Author's Note:**

> I've never posted on ao3, so I'm pretty confused lmao help. I apologize in advance if I screwed anything up or if this is so bad you wanna sue me.

Mina isn't upset. Mina isn't lonely. Mina isn't ever angry, and she isn't a terrible person. Mina is young, and alright, and strong. Mina doesn't need anyone else. Mina doesn't feel.

Sana isn't alright. Sana isn't strong. Sana gets angry, and Sana may be a terrible person. Sana is always, always upset. Sana needs to feel someone by her side. Sana feels.

And none of this upsets Mina. Because Mina used to know how it feels. Not too long ago actually. 

3:00 AM.

Mina sits down in a seat at the corner of the cafe while a worker dressed in black wipes at another table on the other side of the room. She takes a short sip of her bitter coffee, just barely grimacing. The taste isn't so bad, Mina knows. There's just something different about it so late into the night.

3:06 AM.

There's a girl, wrapped in a black coat most definitely a size too big, crying her eyes out. Mina feels a tug at her heart and a drop in her stomach. She doesn't know what to do.

But she finds herself at the girl's table, settling into the seat across from her with her hot coffee, "Why are you crying?" It's too direct and personal, Mina knows. Mina knows a lot of things. And yet she continues to mess up, never thinking too much of it.

"Isn't that a bit too personal?" The girl chuckles lowly, wiping her eyes harshly. She has bangs, Mina notices, and even though her eyes are red, she can clearly see how beautiful and warm they are. Mina thinks she falls a little.

"You're bawling in the middle of a cafe at three in the morning. Did you not expect someone to ask about it?" Her words are always harsh sounding and she knows that they bite into each person she talks to. She doesn't want to bite into this girl however.

"Not really, no," The girl's voice is raspy, and it's attractive, and Mina hates how she enjoys it. "Not a lot of people care about a stranger you know."

"I typically don't. What's your name?" Mina asks, voice softening to its own accord.

"Sana."

Mina thinks that may be her favourite sound, word, and name now.

Mina buys her hot chocolate because Sana isn't big on coffee. And Mina learns that Sana likes sweet things, and that she may be a little sensitive.

Sana wants to know why Mina drinks terrible coffee. Mina doesn't like it that much either, so she can't answer her question. Sana still lets Mina try her hot chocolate with too much whipped cream, and Mina likes it more than she lets on.

Mina gets Sana's number with shaky, sweaty hands.

They stay up until seven in the morning talking to each other over the phone.

5:32 PM.

It's been a week since Mina met Sana. And a week seems to be good enough for Sana to invite Mina over to her house that's only slightly smaller than Mina's back home. She's surprised, of course, but it makes her homesick.

And when Sana mumbles in japanese, Mina almost chokes.

Sana smells like strawberries and cream, and pretty floral perfume. But her bed smells darker. Not like Sana.

Mina doesn't miss the extra clothes hanging out of her closet or the torn up pair of converse by her bedroom door. They look about the same size as Sana's pretty boots though.

Her bed sheets are a simple light blue. Her blanket is folded neatly at the corner of the bed, a lighter gray. It smells darker, too.

Mina bonds with Sana over unrealistic dramas, Japanese artists, and hot chocolate. Sana always adds whipped cream.

1:46 AM.

Sana kisses Mina, but neither of them talk about it. Sana tries joking about it, saying she must have added alcohol to her hot chocolate.

Sana's lips were too sweet for that.

But just twenty minutes later, Sana is in Mina's lap, kissing her with all she has. Mina never complains, so why should she start?

Sana taps her waist three times, and tugs on her shirt, eyes glancing up at her in a silent way of asking for permission. Mina opens her mouth to say that yes, it's definitely alright, but a different voice sounds throughout the house.

Sana rushes to push Mina into her closet, muttering apology after apology. When the owner of the voice kisses Sana, soft and sweet, Mina feels sick.

She almost throws all of her hot chocolate and cheap pizza up in Sana's closet.

3:00 AM.

Sana apologizes again.

They're back at the cafe, a week after Sana's stupid act. Mina has hot chocolate with too much whipped cream, and she knows it's bad for her. Sana is, too, she thinks.

Sana's hand is cold and wet when she reaches for Mina's. Mina can't feel anything but her hand at that moment, but it's not so strange. It's rainy, and loud against the umbrella that she's sharing with Sana. Sana holds it, arguing that she feels the need to protect Mina. Even if it's from the rain.

Mina likes rain.

Mina wonders if Sana is protecting her from herself.

11:37 AM.

Sana calls Mina, voice breaking as she sobs.

Mina acts before thinking for once in her life, and Sana ends up at her lonely home. Mina always wonders why Sana cries so much.

She gets her answer.

Sana tells Mina of how Jeongyeon, that's her girlfriend apparently, doesn't view things the same way Sana does, resulting in arguments. But Sana loves Jeongyeon. It hurts something inside Mina, but she ignores it.

At 12:00 PM, Sana kisses Mina again.

Mina can still taste Sana's tears and her whipped cream.

Sana is always sweet, Mina knows. And Mina should feel guilty, but she doesn't. Momo always tells her to be selfish for once, so maybe now is the time.

And Mina has never liked swearing, but all she can think is fuck Sana's girlfriend.

Sana stays over at Mina's. What's strange to Mina is that Sana is gone when she wakes up. And maybe Sana didn't take her virginity, but her heart still hurts for some reason she can't figure out.

7:01 PM.

Mina is out with Momo at her favourite restaurant. Momo has always loved food, but there's something about this place. Mina feels weird before they go inside.

Her eyes land on Sana and Jeongyeon, smiling and laughing just a few tables away. Mina still doesn't know why it hurts her.

Momo notices the change, quick and easy. And she holds Mina's hand under the table despite wondering what changed. Mina knows she's thankful for Momo. Mina knows she doesn't deserve her.

1:23 AM.

Sana noticed that Mina was out just a few hours ago. Sana also asks if Momo is Mina's girlfriend. Mina says no, of course, but Sana doesn't believe it. Sana feels jealousy. Mina feels nothing but Sana's lips on hers again.

At 3:00 AM, Sana slips her fingers under Mina's loose shorts, not bothering to untie them. Mina feels. Sana is relentless, pushing and pulling, blinding Mina with each and every movement. Sana is possessive, Mina learns, as her grip tightens around Sana's pretty blue sheets.

"Jeongyeon will be mad you know," Sana reminds her, voice harsh when she curls her fingers at just the right angle. "She won't like that I'm fucking such a pretty girl in our bed."

Mina has never liked that phrase. Too aggressive and not meaningful at all. But she still comes around two of Sana's fingers with a stifled cry.

3:46 AM.

Sana isn't one for pillow talk or cuddling, Mina learns. Or maybe it's because Sana's girlfriend would be home soon. Mina never learned why Jeongyeon worked so late.

She also never learned why Jeongyeon's typical perfume was becoming more light, or why their sheets had three different scents now.

It's a sudden burst of imagination and just a little soju that Mina thinks Jeongyeon could be doing the same thing to Sana like Sana's doing to her.

No that can't be it. Jeongyeon is so sweet with Sana. She'd never.

They talk. Sana and Mina exchange words, and pictures, and even videos most of the time that they can't see each other. Which is never more than three days.

The next time Sana is inside of Mina, it's only four in the afternoon. And Sana is softer this time, marking Mina's skin with her lips and teeth. There isn't an inch that goes unmarked. Sana even makes a heart on her chest. Mina thinks that means Sana cares.

And with hushed praises, three fingers filling her completely, and Sana's wonderfully talented tongue, Mina thinks she might be falling in love.

Sana has always cared. Sana will always care. And so she stays this time, making sure Mina is alright, wiping her tears and cleaning her up.

They drink hot chocolate again, and Mina knows it'll become her favourite drink.

It already is.

Sana doesn't just smell like Jeongyeon anymore. She smells expensive and pretty and like roses. Mina always preferred lilacs over roses because they resemble purity, but she knows she prefers Sana over anything.

Sana isn't close to being pure.

Mina would like to believe that God would give Sana another chance at life, if she'd let him. But recently even she's losing faith.

Loving Sana is like hanging onto a thin piece of thread that you know is going to break under just the slightest of pressure. Mina adores that for some odd reason she can't place. She's never been one to take risks, so she truly has no clue what she's doing at Sana's home at 3:00 AM for the seventh time.

Seven is Mina's lucky number.

She thinks that she might be getting lucky.

But Jeongyeon is always in the way. And Mina knows that it's actually her who's in the way, but Momo did tell her to be selfish. Mina doesn't think she can get any more selfish.

At 3:00 AM, Sana shows up at Mina's beautiful white home in what Mina is sure is Jeongyeon's shirt. Mina doesn't miss the hickeys decorating Sana's thighs and stomach when she helps Sana change.

It makes her wonder why Sana doesn't let Mina touch her.

"Jeongyeon thinks she loves someone else," Sana whimpers, helpless and small in Mina's arms. Mina's heart breaks for Sana because she knows that Sana is absolutely in love with Jeongyeon. She decides that being selfish is definitely terrible.

Mina can't do anything but hold Sana closer to her, placing a gentle kiss on the top of Sana's head. She slips up and she hopes that Sana is asleep, might even have prayed if she could find it in herself.

"I know I love you."

It's rainy again, but this time it's on a Saturday and Sana is holding Mina's hand as they head inside of a theater that Momo used to drag Mina to. Sana sits in the back because she knows that Mina doesn't like being too close to anyone, and she even recommends Mina her favourite soda. Mina doesn't really drink soda, but anything Sana gets, Mina learns to love. Like hot chocolate.

Halfway through the movie, Mina can barely concentrate let alone think. It's difficult to not be so loud in a theater when Sana is working one finger in and out of her at such a slow pace Mina thinks she might burst.

And Mina has never been one for voyeurism, but with Sana there's always a first.

Mina starts to wonder if she could be Sana's rebound relationship even if she hasn't left Jeongyeon yet. She isn't so opposed to the idea, and she hates how she doesn't care about her self worth as much anymore.

Sana has a friend. No, she has many friends. And she's quick to introduce Mina to them only a month after meeting her. Nayeon is loud, kind, but a bit annoying, Mina thinks. She could get used to her though. Jeongyeon stays beside Nayeon the entire time of the event, and Mina knows that Jeongyeon loves her by the looks that they exchange. She can't help but wonder if she looks at Sana like that.

Jihyo is beautiful, and sweeter than Sana's hot chocolate. Mina believes she could have fallen for her in another lifetime. Chaeyoung is soft, and easy-going and Mina knows she'll be fast friends with her. The same goes for Tzuyu. She's incredibly tall with amazing proportions, and she's definitely not lacking when it comes to personality.

Sana is careful around Jeongyeon, even when Jeongyeon is being touchy with Nayeon. Nayeon seems guilty, and Sana seems like she knows something. Mina wants to hold her hand, she really does, but Sana avoids her.

It takes three days for Sana to call Mina, but this time she isn't crying. She's sobbing, but it's different; Sana sounds needy, and so, so close. Each whine makes Mina miss her more. And Mina always aims to please, so Sana doesn't go unsatisfied.

Sana wonders why she keeps coming back to Mina when she shouldn't.

Mina wonders the same thing.

6:22 PM.

They never talk about what they do. Mina would love to, but she knows her heart wouldn't be able to handle it. She also knows that Sana doesn't love her like she does Jeongyeon.

2:09 PM.

They break up a couple of days later. Sana feels like she can't breathe, but Jeongyeon feels free. Mina doesn't like violence, but she can't see past the red blurring her vision when Sana breaks down just outside her door.

Sana doesn't touch her like she normally would, and a part of Mina is glad for that; she can finally take care of Sana. She makes sure Sana is cleaned up in her too clean bathroom. She dries her tears, removes her makeup, and dries her hair. Mina's heart flutters when Sana comes out wearing Mina's favourite shirt. It isn't too big on Sana, but she looks beautiful in it. Mina thinks the shirt has always belonged to her with how perfect she looks.

Sana doesn't leave in the morning, in fact, she clings to Mina like her life depends on it. And Mina welcomes it, and it's not because she's just a little touch starved.

Sana learns that Mina loves to dance, and that she swallows pills with soda (Mina hates taking pills). Sana thinks it's a little weird, but endearing nevertheless. It never crosses Sana's mind that she could be using Mina as a rebound. Mina doesn't think of it too much either.

Sana helps Mina with her anxiety when it acts up, slowly and carefully guiding her when she stutters over words, or she has to pay for something. Hot chocolate is her favourite thing to buy now, so they spend a lot of time at the cafe. It's Mina's favourite place besides Sana's bed.

Seven months of knowing Sana.

Mina realizes this at 5:56 PM.

There's a part of her that wishes Sana would just talk to her about what they are because she can never find the courage to do so. Maybe tonight Sana will.

7:08 PM.

Sana doesn't. But she does buy Mina the cutest penguin she's ever seen. And she kisses her so sweet that Mina realizes that yes, she's really in love, and yes, she's totally fucked.

Sana buys her chocolate and lilacs because she knows that Mina prefers them over roses. To Mina, it feels like an anniversary. Mina has only ever dated one person, but not long enough to celebrate one.

Sana's touch is soft again. Her fingers just barely feel there on her skin, burning her name into her hips. Sana whispers over and over about how much she cares for Mina and how much she wants to protect her. Mina almost comes from that.

And when Mina is gasping for breath, thighs shaking and hands struggling to find purchase against Sana or the couch, Sana kisses her, deep and sincere. Mina feels a tear roll down her cheek, but she can't keep a single straight thought with Sana's name on the tip of her tongue like a prayer. She has always been Sana's.

"I absolutely adore you," Sana's voice is raspy as she pushes into Mina with a renewed pace. A whimper slips from Mina's mouth because fuck, Sana is being completely relentless, and she's so, so sensitive. "Feel me, Mina."

Sana makes Mina come three times in a row, the fourth being the strongest and most draining. When Sana presses her fingers against Mina's lips, she's more than happy to comply. Sana is gentle when she cleans Mina up, still peppering her with kisses and praises.

And at 3:00 AM, Sana tells her over and over that she adores her. It's the closest to an I love you Mina will get, she thinks. She knows.

"Do you ever wonder what we are?" Sana asks one day, writing down notes as she scrolls through her laptop. Sana is brave, Mina thinks, unlike her. Mina pauses, a shaky breath leaving her lips.

"Sometimes,"

"I mean that I need to know what we are, Minari." The nickname has always made Mina's heart flutter, but now Mina knows it's because of a different reason.

"We're what you want us to be." Mina likes playing the diplomat, but she also likes having her own answer and telling the world (or rather the people closest to her). Her nerves prevent her from letting Sana know that yes, Mina wants to be hers and she would love to hear Sana introduce her as her girlfriend.

"Really? You're not putting a label on us?" Sana sounds too eager and relieved for it to mean anything good for Mina. "That's good. Thank you."

"Thank you?"

"It still seems too quick to get into another relationship."

Mina has never had to get over someone (the Japanese guy doesn't count). She wonders if seven months is long enough. She tries picturing herself in Sana's shoes, but her heart feels heavy when she thinks about leaving Sana forever. Mina already knows that it's impossible to stay friends with an ex; Momo told her all about it.

Though Sana doesn't want a relationship, she still finds her hand buried between Mina's thighs or holding Mina's hand as they go out on what Sana would like to call friend dates. There's nothing friendly about them, but Mina won't say anything. Sana is smart, she knows.

Jeongyeon holds a party for the new year. It's loud and filled with alcohol, and Mina feels uncomfortable. And Jeongyeon looks so happy with Nayeon that Sana feels like she can't breathe again. They find each other through sweaty bodies and too loud music.

Mina holds Sana's hair back when she throws up in Jeongyeon's bathroom, and she rubs her back. Sana can't stop crying and it pains Mina to look at her, but she has always been there. She always will be.

But there's a girl that they meet when Sana stumbles out of the bathroom, Mina's hand on her waist. She's beautiful, and pale, and concerned. Mina hates the way that she almost throws up when Sana practically falls into the girl's arms instead.

11:59 PM.

Sana finds Mina, holding a glass of what Mina is sure is alcohol (What else is at the party anyway?), and she's quick to kiss Mina's cheek and grasp her hand like it's her lifeline.

"Minari," Sana purrs, eyes dark and wanting. Mina swallows, but she doesn't move. What Sana wants, she will always get. "Are you going to kiss me?"

"Sana, you're not thinking-"

"Yes I am! I'm thinking about you. Please kiss me."

Who is Mina to deny Sana?

12:00 AM

Sana moves fast, and her teeth knock against Mina's, and Mina can taste toothpaste and alcohol. She's glad that Jeongyeon lent Sana a toothbrush anyway.

Sana's hands have a mind of their own. They always have, but tonight Sana isn't completely sober and it's worse. Mina panics, but she doesn't leave Sana at the party alone. She drives her home, changes her clothes, and prepares to leave.

She doesn't get to.

Sana clings to Mina, refusing to let the younger girl go, so Mina doesn't.

And later when Sana wakes up, she freaks out.

Mina wants to help, but it's her fault after all. So she leaves.

Sana doesn't call. She doesn't text or leave a voicemail, and she doesn't try at all. Mina wants to try. But Sana has always and will always come first. So Mina lets Sana decide if she wants to come back.

It takes nearly a month, but Sana shows up at Mina's front door, guilt painted onto her face. Mina is quick to apologise and forgive. And they find themselves in the same cycle again.

But this time Sana is less touchy. She doesn't take Mina to her favourite place in town and she doesn't bring Mina out on her "friend dates". Mina wants to know what she did wrong.

Sana never wants to answer.

But it's not all too bad.

"You look so beautiful when you're under me," Sana mumbles against Mina's throat, teeth grazing over the sensitive skin. "You're perfect, you know?"

Mina doesn't trust her voice to answer. She wants to say no, she really isn't, but letting Sana take what she wants from her is the best option she decides. And Sana takes all she can.

Sana enjoys Dahyun's company. Sana loves how Dahyun isn't so shy to the world and how she's a natural entertainer. Sana loves each expression Dahyun makes, especially when she compliments her; her nose scrunches up and her cheeks turn pink and Sana's heart feels so warm.

Sana doesn't miss Jeongyeon anymore. Jeongyeon can have Nayeon if she's happy, and Sana will make herself happier. Dahyun helps the most.

Sana thinks she would have fallen for Mina if she hadn't met Jeongyeon. And Sana knows that Mina is absolutely head over heels in love with her, and she doesn't want to hurt her, but Sana needs to feel.

Sana feels through Mina's beautiful parted lips when she comes undone. Sana feels through Dahyun's laughter and her smile. Sana feels when she counts Mina's moles. Sana feels alive when she's with Dahyun.

3:00 AM.

Sana never wanted to leave Mina.

But she has always been selfish.

Because Mina was never upset. Mina wasn't lonely. Mina never got angry, and she still isn't a terrible person. Mina is young, but broken. Mina needs Sana. Mina feels.

And Sana was never alright. Sana wasn't strong. Sana got angry, and Sana is a terrible person. Sana is always, always upset. Sana needs Dahyun (Mina) by her side. But Sana can't feel anymore.


	2. The Sun and the Moon

Mina likes her hot chocolate with too much whipped cream.

Momo knows why, but she also doesn't; Mina is closed off now, and won't tell her anything. It worries her, she'll admit it. Mina was always on the quieter side, but around Momo? She'd be livelier. Mina has been lifeless these past couple of months and Momo doesn't understand.

Sana couldn't have taken Mina's entire heart; Sana is just a girl. A girl who moved back to Osaka three months ago after falling for another girl named Dahyun.

Mina talks to Momo at night, typically around 3:00 AM (Sana made it a habit to stay up until then). And Mina refuses to cry, but her breath becomes shaky and she refuses to look at Momo. Mina used to always make eye contact.

Sana was built for breaking people into pieces, she believes. It wasn't impossible for her to love, no; she loved Jeongyeon with her entire soul. And so many people have fallen for Sana, so she isn't too terrible (yes she is).

Jeongyeon couldn't stay in love with Sana for too long. And Sana couldn't love Mina. Sana thinks, no, she knows that she could have let herself fall for Dahyun completely. But Sana may be just as broken as Mina, incapable of loving so soon.

Osaka was her getaway. Her hometown, and the place she planned to fix herself. But Osaka was lonely, even with her family there. And everyone treated Sana like she was alright because they had no clue what she's done.

Sana tells Momo that she's leaving, and Dahyun too, because Sana knows that Mina hasn't told Momo what happened just yet. Sana might know Mina a little too well.

Mina gets a job at the cafe. She figured that if she fought through her nerves when they bit at her, she'd get over her anxiety. She was right, but also very, very wrong.

Mina's hands couldn't stop shaking her first week. And every single time someone would order hot chocolate (it wasn't very common thankfully), she'd almost ruin it with too much whipped cream. Momo was kind enough to cook (or buy) her dinner, lunch, or breakfast whenever Mina had to work. Momo would wake Mina up despite the fact that Momo would much rather sleep in. She has a job at the dance studio anyway.

Mina always smiles when Jihyo comes to visit her at the cafe. It's the only time Mina can get away from her thoughts. Momo understands when Mina needs to talk, but Momo isn't so great at taking her away from Sana. Jihyo? She's amazing. Almost Godlike.

Mina remembers Jihyo's first impression on her, that she could have fallen for Jihyo. But that would be in another lifetime, and this is still this lifetime, and she most definitely still loves Sana. Mina hopes she won't always be hung up on sana, but she knows she will.

"Mina!" Jihyo's voice is loud, and warm, and inviting. Her embrace is the same, and Mina can't stop trying to warn her that she just spilled coffee down the front of her shirt and apron. It wouldn't matter anyway because Jihyo doesn't care.

On some days, Jeongyeon will come and retrieve whatever Nayeon wants. Mina is glad that they're happy, but she's still upset that Jeongyeon practically broke Sana. Kind of like how Sana did with Mina, but she doesn't like to dwell on that.

And sometimes Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu will come in. They come in the most, being college students and all. Mina wonders what they're majoring in, but she feels strange asking. Dahyun's presence doesn't make her feel awkward at all; Mina doesn't blame Dahyun for what Sana did. And Dahyun knows that Mina loves her, so they found themselves getting closer because of the fact that Sana was a bit of a jerk. Dahyun's words, not hers.

Momo is always there beside Mina. She could be mistaken as an employee, Mina thinks. A fairly shy employee who forgets her uniform a lot. Mina loves that Momo is there to support her, she really does, and Momo is always so supportive. Even when Mina tripped over absolutely nothing (Sana's influence, she bets) and spilled Jihyo's iced coffee all over both Jihyo, herself, and the floor.

Jihyo was quick to hug Mina and comfort her because she knew that Mina was so, so close to tears. It wasn't like Mina to cry in public, but everyone could see how she wore her heart on her sleeve more now. Momo did the same, telling her it was alright and that she'd clean the mess up. 

Mina can't stop herself from wondering if Momo meant her instead of the spill.

Thursdays are Mina's favourite. It isn't too busy at the cafe and she works later into the night. It seems ridiculous for a cafe to be open all night, but when Mina wasn't working here, she loved it. 3:00 AM was her favourite time to come, and her favourite time to work now. Even if it did remind her a bit of Sana.

Mina scribbles onto a small, torn piece of paper. Most of it is for Momo, the rest acting as an outlet to her boredom. There's a part of her that wishes she could draw like Chaeyoung. She thinks it'd be nice to look at her art and know that she did that. She can't understand why Chaeyoung doesn't like what she draws.

"Can I get a hot chocolate? Uh, lots of whipped cream please." Mina looks up, swallowing because the voice reminds her of Sana. The girl in front of her is looking down, wearing the same black coat as Sana several months ago. It's not even that cold outside, so Mina wonders why she covers up with such a big coat.

"Is that all?" Mina stutters, then mentally swears at herself because there's just one girl and why would she-

"Yeah."

"It's $4.65." Mina hates how curt her sentences are, but she can't seem to stop herself from sounding too harsh. The girl looks up and Mina suddenly realizes why she smells and sounds so much like Sana.

"Damn," Sana chuckles lowly. "The prices have gone up since I've been gone, haven't they?"

And Sana tries. She knows that Mina has every right to be upset with her because Sana always knew that Mina loved her. But Sana also knows that she missed Mina, and that she wants to be better and not run.

Mina doesn't spill Sana's hot chocolate, but she does burn her hand a little. Sana kisses her finger and somehow the kiss burns it even more. Mina told herself that she wouldn't take Sana back if she came back. Mina has turned into a liar.

Sana is careful this time, testing the water, and what Mina is fine with. Sana should have expected Mina to flinch away when she touches her, but she's still surprised when she does. And Sana can't seem to get rid of her pride long enough to apologize, even if she wants to.

A week passes and before Mina knows it, it's Thursday, and Sana is at her (and Momo's now) home. Sana is quiet as she downs a cup of water. It's different from her typical soda, but that's more than likely because Sana doesn't want to take from Momo's stash.

Momo is quick to pounce on Sana, mumbling swears and other words that Mina can't make out. Mina wonders if Momo loves Sana more than she does.

It's hard, Mina learns.

It's too fucking hard, Sana learns.

Sana wants to taste Mina again. Sana wants to hold onto Mina and take her out to her favourite restaurant, and let Mina guide her around the arcade. But Sana knows that it's her fault why she can't.

And Mina still wants to laugh with Sana and make fun of Nayeon's favourite dramas. Mina wants to laugh at Sana when she loses to her in whatever video game Sana chooses. But Mina knows that it's her fault why she can't.

Momo has no worries, but she can tell how awkward the atmosphere is every time Sana and Mina accidentally make eye contact. Momo wishes that Mina would tell her what happened.

Mina wishes that Sana was a good person.

Deep inside, Mina still believes that Sana is, and that she doesn't want to run when she can't handle things. Sana knows that she most definitely isn't a good person. Even deep inside.

Sana loves taking advantage of warmer days. She likes when she can get ice cream and try to eat it before it starts to melt. She likes it even more when she invites Mina to come with her.

It's the first step to bettering herself, and apologizing completely to Mina.

Sana is surprised when Mina tells the middle-aged man exactly what she wants without stuttering; the Mina from a couple of months ago would have gone red in the face. Mina has changed, Sana learns. Maybe being away from her was better. For Mina, not Sana.

Mina bites into the ice cream with her teeth, and Sana can't help but cringe. She's seen it before, but it's been awhile. Sana hesitates, but doesn't stop herself from wiping the corner of Mina's mouth with a napkin. Mina doesn't flinch for once.

Mina stays up late often. Even more so now that her thoughts are filled with more anxiety and more Sana. She knows that Sana won't stay forever. She also knows that she needs to get over Sana because she's absolutely no good.

She says this every Thursday at 3:00 AM, but she never can forget about Sana.

Sana is always there; there is no way you'll ever forget her. Once you know her, you'll fall for her, and then you're fucked for life. It's the simplest, most accurate way Mina can put it.

When Sana stays over for different reasons than months ago, and they're staring up at Mina's ceiling, Sana tells Mina about Osaka. It makes Mina homesick, so they end up speaking in Japanese. Mina is rusty (Momo speaks in Korean more often than Japanese), but Sana is patient. Has she always been this way?

Mina is in deep, she thinks, as Sana kisses her. She still tastes the same, and Mina knows it's bad. It has to be with the way Sana's hand grips her hip like she's afraid of losing her. Mina's imagination is too wild sometimes.

Mina panics to Momo at noon before she has to leave for work. Momo panics with her because she's never been great at controlling her emotions in tense situations. Mina guesses Momo has something in common with Sana.

Her words come out jumbled and a total, complete mess as she explains to Momo what happened. Momo can just barely make it out (Mina is her best friend, of course she can understand her anyway). The only thing Momo can do is assure Mina that everything will be alright.

With what Mina says, Momo thinks she could be wrong.

After dinner, Momo threatens Sana.

It's simple, quick, but terrifying nonetheless. Sana swallows hard when Momo jabs her finger at Sana, muttering swears at her. Momo polishes her speech off with a pretty smile. Mina whines and reprimands Momo (she thanks her later in private).

And Mina begins to wonder if Sana will leave her again as she kisses her later that night. But Sana never moves forward, always keeping her hand around the back of her neck or on her hip with slow movements against her lips that make Mina fall harder. It's reassuring in a way.

"I adore you." Sana says. Mina feels her stomach drop.

No you don't.

Even as it gradually gets warmer, Sana loves her hot chocolate. Sana also loves the cafe Mina works at, and she adores Mina, so it's only natural that she visits Mina. She isn't afraid to tell Mina that she misses her or that she wants to share the hot chocolate she buys.

Sana wonders if Mina's smile has always been this beautiful.

"You really make your coffee stains work," Sana jokes as Mina places her hot chocolate with way too much whipped cream in front of her. "Also your smile is so pretty. I like it, so don't ever stop smiling."

Mina hates Momo's annoying squeal, but she hates the way Sana makes it harder to forget her.

Despite what Sana has done, Mina wants to forgive her. It doesn't help when Sana pokes the corners of Mina's lips one day, pulling them up into a smile, "You're so pretty!"

Sana adores Mina.

Mina supposes she adores Sana, too.

Mina has a habit of not sleeping until after three. And Sana has a habit of staying over at Mina's home and sleeping in her bed. Mina isn't complaining; she loves when Sana tells her how much she adores her.

Mina has come to enjoy roses. Sana has her very own collection of perfume, so she never smells the same for too long, but she usually smells like a rose. Sana reminds Mina of daisies, too.

"When you laugh, you look like the sun," Mina tells Sana, voice sincere and soft. Sana laughs, looking up at Mina from her lap.

"What, big and yellow?"

"No. Really bright and warm. You make me happy," Mina chews on the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling as her fingers thread through Sana's hair. "Also when I look at you too long, my eyes kinda hurt."

Sana loves kissing Mina to shut her up. Though she can't keep herself from laughing at Mina's apparent joke, and Mina falls even more.

Sana hopes she's doing alright. And sometimes she can't sleep because her heart won't stop pounding and her mind won't stop racing. If Mina felt like this, Sana doesn't know how she stayed alive this long.

Sana thinks she might like going slow. It's easier than just hooking up with someone; she doesn't feel guilty (maybe a little. She really hopes Dahyun is doing okay).

When Mina is smiling, Sana can't help but wonder if it's always been this beautiful.

Definitely.

If Sana is the sun, Mina is the moon. She comes to that conclusion when Mina is mumbling in a mix of Japanese, Korean, and just a bit of English, and smashing her fingers against the buttons on the controller. It's an irrelevant thought in that exact moment, but it must be accurate; the sun always leaves the moon.

Sana would like to change that.

Momo is very protective of Mina. Sana has always known that; she makes it clear that Mina is her baby. Sana likes to imagine herself in Momo's place. Mina does make Sana think that she needs to be protected.

Sana isn't a threat anymore.

And Thursdays aren't Mina's favourite anymore. But 3:00 AM still holds a place in her heart. She swears and curses at Sana to leave her head when she isn't in Mina's bed or at the cafe, but she still can't forget about how lovable Sana is. It's an understatement even. Because Sana is still everything Mina wants, even if her head hates her for it.

She wishes her head would win over her heart like it used to.

On Saturday, Mina leaves work early. It's never too busy on the weekend, but she feels drained. Jihyo couldn't visit (a business trip in Japan. Mina wishes she could go), and Jeongyeon hasn't been by in a while. Nayeon must be getting tired of overpriced coffee. Tzuyu, Chaeyoung, and Dahyun only really come by during the week, either late at night or early in the morning.

Sana had called Mina before she left for work, telling her that she can't come by today. It's stupid, Mina knows, but her heart dropped and she knew she was upset.

But she's pleasantly surprised when she comes home and Sana is still in the midst of placing lilacs and daisies beside each other in a cute vase. There's several more flowers placed in the cutest places around the home, along with the formation of the sun and the moon. Mina wonders what it means.

"Oh," Sana gasps, stumbling over her own feet as she tries covering the scene in front of her. It really does no good considering half of the room is covered in flowers. "Shit, hi. I didn't think you'd be home so early."

"I felt tired. Nevermind that though, what are you doing?" It's obvious what Sana is doing, of course, but Mina still wants to know her intentions.

"You like lilacs, right? At least I hope you do. I think you told me a few months ago," Sana laughs softly. "I'm rambling. You said that I reminded you of daisies, so I put us together!"

Mina hates how hard Sana is making this.

And she can't stand how Sana kisses her like she actually needs her now. Especially when Sana finds a way to climb up to Mina's roof (truth be told, Mina was terrified that Sana would fall), and she brings a single daisy and a single lilac. Mina still smiles regardless because she has always loved Sana.

Sana knows she's fucking in love when Mina wears her penguin onesie to bed.

It's strange because Sana never thought she could love Mina. Dahyun? There was always something there, she thinks. But never enough to make her stay. Why did she come back to Mina instead of Dahyun?

Right. Of course.

The sun still comes back to the moon.

"You don't call Momo unnie." Sana speaks up, breaking the comfortable silence. Mina makes a face.

"Because It's weird for me. I don't call you unnie either."

"Is Momo older than me?"

"Probably," Mina turns to face Sana, and she responds almost immediately, cupping Mina's cheek, and brushing over the skin there with her thumb. "Why are we talking about Momo?"

"I wanted to hear your voice," Sana pauses, staring down at Mina's lips. This is still slow, Sana thinks, as she kisses Mina, her free hand draping over Mina's exposed hip. "And now I want to hear more of you."

Mina loves Sundays.

Sana loves Mina.

Mina still enjoys talking to Momo in the middle of the night when Sana isn't there. But instead of telling Momo about how happy she is, she tells her about how now she's beginning to recognize Sana's pattern again. Maybe Sana just likes ruining Mina just to leave her. And so she builds her up, and up, and when she least expects it, Sana will drop her.

Ten months of knowing Sana (those three that she was gone don't count; she stayed the exact same). Mina knows by now how Sana works. Dahyun, too. Of course they do. Sana hasn't always been predictable, but this is different.

Sana doesn't lie.

Not anymore, anyway. Mina doesn't know that though.

She does truly adore Mina with every being of her soul. Mina isn't a rebound relationship, she's a lot more than that to Sana. She's lilacs and the moon, and she's the most beautiful person Sana has ever laid eyes on, inside and out.

So she works her way up, carrying Mina the entire way. She doesn't plan to drop her.

"Minari," Sana tries to breathe, but her pounding heart doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. "I really love you."

Mina laughs, softly. Almost hollow, "No. You don't."

Maybe Mina planned to jump this time. Sana tries catching her, but Mina has already fallen. She's become smarter, and better. Sana thought she was, too.

But she missed the signs, and continuously got everything wrong.

Because it's the moon that leaves the sun.


End file.
